When I started this one, it was supposed to be for single ladies.
But the more I wrote–the more I realized it was for all the ladies.

So as a follow up to The Single Ladies Series, I am reminding me and you (yo’ mama and yo’ cousin too) to never top exploring our potential.

I know what ya’ll are thinking right now:

Wait. A. Minute.
I’m a faithful reader of the blog.
Faith.Ful.
And I remember you talking about The Problem With Loving His Potential.
So why are we out here explorin’ potential like we’re Dora?!

My thought back:

Thank you.
I’m really grateful.
Grate.Ful.
And I was talking about his potential, but today I’m talking about ours.

I was Facetiming with my soul-sister, Sabrina, and she had come to the realization that hard isn’t bad (more to come on that later) and told me that she was taking this season to fully explore her potential.

This phrase, “exploring my potential” became the next part of a very long conversation that has since stuck with me for a number of reasons.

What is exploring your potential?

Exploring your potential first has to be a deeply held belief before it can be a well executed action.

It is the power of knowing that at any point in your life there are endless possibilities, not all of them easy, but many of them possible. It is taking stock of your passions, values, skills, and treasures and determining what you will do with all of these things.

But it seems like there are certain seasons in life in which it feels easier or harder to explore this potential.

We limit the time we give ourselves to explore our potential.

The deeper your level of commitment to someone, the harder it can feel to explore your potential.

Do you have a child? A spouse? An older or ill parent?
If the answer to any of the questions above is ‘yes,’ exploring potential begins to feel like a luxury that other people get instead of a necessity to your identity. Which is a whole lie, sis.

But it’s a lie I was believing too.

And if I’m honest, it’s why I began writing this post for single women. The thing I miss most about being single (yes, it’s okay to miss things about being single) is to make decisions solely for myself. With a mortgage and a husband–my dream of walking away from the east coast and picking up an Ed Tech job on the west coast feels like a fantasy instead of an attainable goal…but ya’ll know I’m still thinking of a master plan (with my husband and our beautiful home– ’cause I love him and we’re a packaged deal now).

Roadblocks to Our Potential

Regardless of where we are in our life, we can sometimes trick ourselves into believing that we’ve gone too far down a career path, have too many bills to pay, or have someone counting on us and we can’t make “risky” moves. It’s like that world was your oyster…until you walked across the graduation stage. It seems like the only time we’re granted permission to find ourselves was in college–because gap years weren’t even a thing for me at least.

And therein lies the problem.

You don’t need permission to find the greatest version of yourself.

But it can feel like everything in your life is a hindrance to exploring your potential.

“No” may become a word you use more often. “Help” might be another. Boundaries may have to become more important than they’ve ever been.

That money that you would normally lend to a friend might have to go into your “Eff It” Account–you know, the one you’re stacking in order to walk into the thing you love and leave behind that job you don’t.

Remind people that the sacrifices required to level up are temporary in comparison to the permanent mark you will–or could have–left on this world.

Explore Your Potential: The How

Our potential, like our identity, is ever-evolving.
In the same way you didn’t figure out who you were at twenty and decided this is who you’ll always be, we must continually take inventory of our likes, dislikes, and the aspirations we have for ourselves.

How do you want to spend your ideal workday?
What type of projects don’t make your work feel like work?
What types of organizations and causes do you gravitate toward?

As I countdown the days until 29 I realize this has shifted so much since starting my career in education. 22 year old Nik had no responsibilities to anyone but herself, was living in her own space for the first time, and had nothing but time to give in order to launch her newfound career.

Now?

70+ hours feels like more time than I’m willing to give to any employer–no matter how great they are.

There are people and things that fill me up outside of the building of my school that just didn’t exist before.

So start thinking about the personal and professional accomplishments that make you feel the proudest, the type of people you would love to be around all day, and the mission (not position) you may want to work for.

I’m not at a place yet where not working is an option. To be real honest, even if I was, I think I’d lose my mind if I didn’t. So now it’s about figuring out reevaluating the kind of work I’d like to do, where I’d like to do it, and for what type of organization.

Take yourself out on a date. Go to lunch, take a hike, get a massage, do whatever it is you need to do in order to get quiet and think about what you love and don’t about the way your life is currently working.

And if you have someone whose life is deeply impacted by your decisions–after you’ve had time with yourself, talk to them about the conclusions you’ve come to.

Make Adjustments, Not Excuses.

So you’ve gotten honest with yourself and maybe your life is as it should be.
Not perfect–but you are making real strides into the direction of your dreams.
Then 1. good for your sis, and 2. keep moving along this path. I pray nothing but continued prosperity for you.

If this isn’t you. If somehow what used to fill you up with purpose no longer does, or there is something new that makes you want to further explore it…it’s time to get strategic.

We all want to be like Issa the day she quit, “We Got Ya’ll” but ya’ll forget ol’ girl had another job that kept a roof over her head.

Start reaching out to people who can help you actualize this new aspiration you have. Schedule coffee with people in the field you’d like to transition into. Attend a meet-up or social club that allows you access to the type of people with whom you’d like to spend more time.

And keep being great at whatever it is you’re doing. Even if it’s not the thing you think you’re meant for.

Sarah Jakes Roberts said:

“God didn’t place you where he was going to keep you. He placed you where He could grow you.”

Just because you feel a pivot on the horizon, doesn’t mean you don’t have anything to learn from where you are currently planted. Don’t miss out on the lesson you can learn or the impact you can make because you’re so into the future you don’t see what’s in front of you right now.

There’s magic in our musings, and in our potential, 
Nicole