Hey friends!
It’s me again, reporting live from…well….the unknown.
You’d think by now I’d just be used to being here. That I would have brought a cozy blanket and a little reading light so that I could make this place a little more comfortable. But the longer I stay here, the more I realize the unknown is uncomfortable on purpose.
It’s in the discomfort that we find our direction.
By the time you read this, I’ll have been fasting for a week. I knew my current season was going to require a deeper level of clarity and consistency. I needed to hear from God in ways I hadn’t heard before.
So I started a 40 day fast to clear the noise and get closer to the Father.
If you’ve never heard of fasting or think it’s a little “too religious” for your taste, I encourage you to listen to Deeply Rooted Podcast about Fasting and Prayer. They’re two dope queens who break down the biblical principles in a way that make so much sense.
So last Monday, I started my fast.
Last Tuesday, I found out my organization is restructuring and most job reductions are coming from my team.
Way to start the fast with a bang, Lord.
So today we’re going to use the homie Saul from 1 Samuel and my own life as an illustration for why it’s time to drop the baggage, if we’re going to step into this next season of life.
Why was Saul hiding?
Before we can talk about why Saul was hiding, we need a little backstory on the events that lead to this moment. The children of Israel had finally made it to the Promised Land. In this land, instead of having a king to rule the people, there were judges, men and women who delivered Israel from its oppressors.
These weren’t perfect people by any stretch of the imagination, but the one thing they had all done was willingly submit their lives to God. And despite their imperfections, God was able to use them in a mighty way. (HELLO!)
But the time came when rebellious Israel decided they didn’t want judges anymore…they wanted to be like everyone else. Instead of being set apart, they decided to reject the very thing that made them different, their Heavenly Father, and instead decided they wanted a king.
And even though God had greater plans for Israel, He gave them what they asked for.
A king.
That king was Saul.
Now, the Bible tells us Saul was fione. He was tall and not just good looking, but the BEST looking. Don’t believe me, just go read the word (1 Samuel 9:2). God gave Saul a number of signs in chapter 9 to show him that he was destined for the throne. But in chapter 10, when it’s time for him to be appointed king, the big homie is hiding amongst the baggage.
When I read that, I couldn’t even side eye Saul. Ya girl has been DEEP in baggage. Baggage I didn’t even know I was carrying.
Why?
Why do we hide?
The first thing I did when I found out about my org’s restructure, was start thinking about when my severance package would kick in. Then I thought, “Maybe they’ll keep me on part time.”
I didn’t once stop and think, “God has qualified me for something greater.” I never once moved out of abundance. I immediately turned to planning from a scarcity mindset.
It wasn’t until the next day, when I took a walk and listened to a sermon by Steven Furtick entitled Make Room for the New, did my perspective change.
It was on that walk that I felt like the Holy Spirit speak right to my heart,
Your job isn’t a bad problem. Why do you think it’s either or when it can be both and? Why do you think you need me to fire you when I want to grow you?
I’m asking you to operate out of overflow and you’re trying to do it out of lack? Why? am I not the Lord your God? Do I not give good gifts? Would you ask for bread and receive a stone?
Don’t ask me to give you one or the other, it insults. Ask for my will to be done in your life and watch how I exceed your expectations every time.
God
The thing that hit me the hardest in all of that, was the ‘why?’
So I had to get real with myself. In my reflection, I realized my baggage was the same as Saul’s.
Identity Baggage
“But I’m only from the tribe of Benjamin, the smallest tribe in Israel, and my family is the least important of all the families of that tribe! Why are you talking like this to me?”
These were the first words Saul said after Samuel told him him and he family was the focus of all of Israel’s hopes.
My gut reaction when I read this was, “God can use people from humble beginnings!”
But why did he believe his family was unimportant in the first place? Where had he been taught that he wasn’t worthy because of who his family was? Who taught him his family was unworthy?
We often pick up the lies others put on us. We would have never known about those lies had someone not rewritten our story.
Lies like,
‘No one in your family has done it.’
‘Look at where you come from.’
‘You can’t do _______’
I realized I had internalize other people’s deficiencies as my own. It was easier to believe I could be fired, than it was to believe I was equipped for a new challenge.
Safety Baggage
In that same sermon, Pastor Furtick said blessings can feel like threats when the comey packaged in something unfamiliar.
After I checked the mirror for my remaining edges, he asked if I was threatened by my very own blessings.
My edges were decimated by that point.
I was comfortable. I love my job because it’s a great job, but also because I know how to do it.
It’s safe.
And suddenly here comes an opportunity for potential increase (a blessing) and because it didn’t show up the way previous blessings had it felt like a threat.
You can’t receive new miracles with old mindsets.
Steven Furtick
Y’all often tell me to get off your neck…soon as you tell the Lord to get off mine, I will.
So by this point, I ain’t got no more edges by which to be dragged.
But does this deter the pastor?
Nah.
Scarcity Baggage
So now he’s pulling on my bonnet while walking me to Leviticus 26:10
You will have such a surplus of crops that you will need to clear out the old grain make room for the new harvest!
Leviticus 26:10
Sis, your God is a God of fresh anointings. New blessings, harvests, ideas, revelations, understandings, gifts.
Why do you think a God of new miracles will keep moving in old ways?
A fresh God doesn’t give stale blessings.
Your blessings work in overlap.
God isn’t a God of scarcity but one of overflow.
I’m not just talking about material blessings, but the renewing of your mind and habits and ideas.
Do you know why I think sometimes we have too much old?
Because we hold onto what we’re supposed to pour out.
God gives to us so we can give to others, but we live in a place of such scarcity that we’re still clinging to the last thing he did and he’s trying to pour a new thing on us.
So what are you supposed to be letting go of so that God can pour a new thing onto you?
I declare new truths over your life.
You are more than a conqueror.
With Jesus, you are more than enough.
You operate from abundance, not lack.
You do not hoard, you give.
I don’t care what the world says, sis.
This season hasn’t come to destroy you.
It’s come to clear the baggage before the new harvest arrives.
I love you and I’m rooting for you.
There’s magic in our musings and our God,
Nicole