The first few days of my new job were nerve wrecking.

Not because I didn’t like the job or the people, but because I had to be one of those people.

You know those people.

The people who asks for time off before their employer even knows if they were the right hire for the company. At least that’s how I was thinking about it.

I planned the trip before I got the job. But I wasn’t going to cancel it so I had to ask. When I broached the conversation with my manager on my third day, it went like this:

Me: How do I go about telling you that I’m going to need 3 days off for a trip I planned before I accepted this job?

Manager: Welp, you just did. Put it in our system and be sure to block the days on your calendar so no one tries to schedule stuff with you. We take vacation really seriously.

That experience, plus the vacation itself (which was glorious) illuminated a few beliefs I’m working to unlearn. It also helped to highlight some realizations

The Problem

Educators have been conditioned to believe they shouldn’t take time off. This is true for everyone, but especially folks who teach kids because there is no “work from home” option.

I didn’t even know WFH was a real acronym until a corporate friend told me a couple years ago.

Educators will take PTO days in quarters and halves to meet the plumber at our house or go to the doctor.

We will come in when we’re sick because we know it’s easier than putting together plans for a substitute or asking an already tired colleague to cover our classes.

And it’s not just about making sure we have all of our copies prepped or our directions right for a sub. Beyond teachers, people feel as if taking days off (that they’ve earned, btw) is bad.

In an article from the Washington Post 54 percent of workers in the U.S. reported feeling guilty about taking vacation time. And that feeling of guilt is actually keeping people from using what is rightfully theirs.

In that same article a reported 786 million days of PTO wasn’t used last year.

But why?

Why do so many of us feel guilty about taking what belongs to us? More than our impeccable work ethics or our “booked and busy” mentalities the structure of time off in the U.S. is pretty depressing.

The next time we’re out here trying to be martyrs for the cause, remember that people in other countries aren’t begging to enjoy their lives and companies aren’t being stingy with the PTO! And if that’s not enough for you, remember a few other things too.

No matter how much you love work, it’s still work.

If you’ve been around here for any length of time, you know I really like my work.

Like a lot.

And I thought I couldn’t like my work anymore than I already did…and then I got my new job.

The people at my organization are phenomenal and the working environment is perfect for me. We don’t have set work times or locations. While there is an expectation that we are available for both internal and client facing meetings, I’m not confined to any one location.

This sounded like a dream. Being able to take a long lunch and bring my laptop means I am able to work from beautiful restaurants with great patios. Not having set work hours means I can run to the grocery store at 4pm to make dinner and hop back on at 7 to finish up a few things.

It means I can go spend a few days in Vegas and just make sure my calendar syncs to the right time zone so I don’t miss a call.

It also gives me the false sense that I’m not working…when I really am.

My pajamas may be comfy, but they in no way lessen the amount of intellectual preparation required to do my job well.

My time completely away from the office helped to remind me that while I love my work and I’m able to do it from anywhere it doesn’t negate the fact that ya girl is grinding. Hard. Really hard. And there is no shame in completely stepping away for that for a moment.

It’s not always enough to just change your work location or your sweatpants. Sometimes, we’ve just got to stop working.

You’ll come back ready to hit the ground running.

I came back from vacation on Monday and on Tuesday I was ready to hit the ground. My mind was clear and I was on my A game. Aside from the desire to take a nap around 2pm because that’s what I had done while on the beach for the 5 days prior, I felt good.

I was better for my work because I had stepped away from it temporarily. Those 5 days totally unplugged will make the next 5 weeks before Thanksgiving infinitely more productive because I’m rested and focused.

Somewhere along the way, we started thinking that rest was a hinderance to our productivity, when in reality it is the thing that can heighten it.

The building is always still standing when you return.

How big did my head have to be in order for me to believe that if I left the building–a building that had been established long before I stepped on the scene–somehow it would crumble.

That’s cute…and hella arrogant.

Regardless of what you think about Karen and the grammatical errors in her email or the fact that the guy in the cubicle over from you spends his day on Instagram instead of actually working, you are not the driving force behind your organization.

And to be honest, if it all rests on you, there’s a problem.

Regardless of how great you are, you are replaceable.

And that’s not a bad thing.
That’s actually freeing.

It means that you don’t have to be a slave to anything or anyone. It’s a kind reminder that there are other people who can hold it down in your absence.

You’ve got nothing to prove.

You proved your ability to be an asset during your interview. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show up everyday ready to give your best. But it does mean that you don’t have to be superhuman at work in order for people to see you.

And if you do have to strip yourself or your humanity–and your vacation time–for someone to notice you, it’s probably not a good longterm fit.

A day off or two doesn’t negatively impact the quality of work, my girl. In a world where it feels like we always need to be twice as good to get half as much, there is some reprogramming we’re going to have to do to truly believe this.

Vacations probably aren’t the only boundaries you need to set up at work.

Taking some time away from work also made me realized I had developed a few unhealthy habits that needed changing. Like the fact that I didn’t have a daily cut off for work or that I checked emails before brushing my teeth.

Slowly, I’ve started creating bright lines for when my work day ends. I want to be able to do the other things that bring me joy.

So keep on doing the kind of work that feeds your soul. Just don’t forget to give your soul a break from time to time.

There’s magic in our musings, work, and rest,
Nicole