Fear.

We’ve all had to do something with palms sweating and butterflies in our stomach. And while it’s no one’s favorite way to move through the world, there are fears we have to overcome on a regular basis.

When my students used to tell me they were nervous, I’d say good. Nerves tells us that the thing we’re doing matters to us. If we’re not experiencing a case of the nerves every once in a while, we’re not living big enough.

But that type of fear, isn’t what I’m talking about today. Today, we gotta talk about the other kind of fear. The type of fear that has the ability to change the way you move through the world. Fear that dictates the opportunities you take, relationships you build, and what you expect from and give to others.

The weather is gloomy and kind of cold and I’m talking as much to myself as I am to you today so go on ahead and take this other blanket and get comfy. It’s fresh out the dryer and still a little warm.

We might have been physically comfortable if we have to get spiritually rattled.

Fear attacks our gifts.

Anytime you tell a believer that you’re afraid about something, they’ll immediately hit you with the “God didn’t give you a spirit of fear!”

Or maybe those are just my older family members…
And they’re right.

And I think it could also be helpful to talk about what God did give us. Let’s go back a verse before we dive fully into this one.

6 So I ask you to make full use of the gift that God gave you when I placed my hands on you. Use it well. 7 God’s Spirit doesn’t make cowards out of us. The Spirit gives us power, love, and self-control.

2 Timothy 1:6-7

I find it interesting that in the verse before being reminded that God didn’t make us no punks, we’re asked to make full use of the gifts we were given.

I don’t think that was a coincidence. Everything has a purpose. Fear’s is to keep you from using your gifts to walk in your purpose.

It’s less about you not speaking to that large crowd of people and more about keeping those people from receiving the message that’s inside of you.

Fear doesn’t care about you not managing that large project team, but it sure does hope people don’t benefit and grow from your knowledge and skill.

It’s less about you accepting the position, and more about you not gleaning the wisdom and insight that will allow for you to impact others.

See, if fear can trick you into not doing whatever the thing is, it can keep you from using your gifts in service of others.

So now that we know what fear is trying to do, let’s look at how that joker is trying to do it.

Fear distorts power.

Fear will try to make you believe you are small and voiceless.

We often think of fear as the big faceless thing in the closet, lurking in the shadows. But I think what’s even scarier is the small voice that says,

“You can’t do that. Why would you think anyone will listen to what you have to say?”

So instead of sharing that incredible idea, or writing that book, or drafting the business plan, you put that dream in a box and shove it into the darkest corner of your mind where it dies.

It is often in the moments right before we have an opportunity to be our strongest, that fear will sneak in and try to paint us as weak.

The next time you feel powerless, stop.
Remind yourself that while you may be uncertain, you are not powerless.

And then speak this affirmation over yourself.

I am powerful.
My ideas can affect change.
My thoughts are worthy of being heard.
I speak life into those I encounter.
The atmosphere shifts when I walk into a room.

Fear creates bitterness.

Fear paralyzes those who can’t overcome it. But while everyone feels fear, not everyone is stopped by it.

So while we are stuck, there are people all around us who are making the moves we were called to make. It’s hard to keep watching someone else have something that deep down inside you know you’re capable of achieving too.

So one of two things happens:
1. We pick our dusty selves up and put one foot in front of the other.
2. We start picking apart all of the reasons that person doesn’t deserve what they’ve worked for.

I wonder who she’s friends with.
Uh, I bet she’s not even happy in that relationship.
She aint even cute.

Guess what?
She might not be, but you now what she is?

Unencumbered by your trifling unproductive thoughts while she continues to win.

Period.

And all of this came from us just being afraid to not take what’s already been promised to us. We are so scared to not have enough, be enough, or do enough that we forget that we have been graced with everything we need.

So you know what time it is. Encourage yourself:

I was created to love.
Nothing that is meant for me will pass me by.
Someone else’s success doesn’t diminish my own.
I don’t need to compete with anyone for anything.
I wish the same success for others as I do for myself.

Fear clouds judgement.

In some versions of 2 Timothy 1:7 the phrase “self-control” is replaced with “a sound mind”.

Fear will make us feel like we have lost control. We will do some stupid stuff do gain control again. We will choose to do things we know aren’t in our character in fear of losing or not being seen as competent.

I know someone who doesn’t believe they deserve the seat at the table at which they occupy. While they are funny and smart with a ton of professional experience, they are letting their fear of not being enough influence their decision making.

They are trying to appease folks instead of standing in their truth and telling them what they need to hear. Information is being withheld from people who can be helpful out of fear that this situation will “confirm” the secret suspicions that were had all along: that this person isn’t worthy of their position.

But here’s the gag: there are no secret suspicions.
No one believes this person is incapable or unworthy. Everyone believes they are the right person for the work they have been asked to do.

But fear is distorting their judgement and now all they can see are all the negative things they think about themselves.

We have all had these moments where imposter syndrome creeps in and we are sure it’s only a matter of time before people “see” the real us. The problem arises when we try to make decisions to overcompensate for a problem that only lives in our minds.

I am worthy of everything I have.
There is no need to prove anything or appease anyone.
I make choices that reflect my convictions and beliefs.
My decisions are grounded in what is best, not easiest.
I have the right to take up space simply because I exist.

We will always deal with fear.

As long as we are alive, there will be something to overcome or worry about. I wish I could tell you that I have a way to change that for you, but I don’t.

What I do know is that you were never designed to live in fear, sis. And the sooner you recognize this, the faster you can step into your purpose.

There is magic in our musings, gifts power, and love
Nicole