Before I start this post, I just want to say thank you.
A lot of you have reached out to tell me how Black Girl Musings feels like “Chicken Soup for the Black Woman’s Soul”. Women at work, friends of friends, and even complete strangers have said not just how much they enjoy the blog, but how much insight it brings and how much they think and discuss after reading. I have also gotten women telling me how I am their “bestfriend in their head” or how they read my posts and feel like I’m talking to them on their couch because they are going through the same thing.
Y’all.
Moments like that make me feel like I am walking in my purpose.
Like Black Girl Musings is doing exactly what God intended when He dropped this gem in my spirit just a few short months ago. I have always had a way with words and heart for black women, but it wasn’t until I acknowledged both of those gifts that Black Girl Musings began.
Mkay now.
On to the business at hand.
Your gifts.
And how your failure to acknowledge them is hurting people you love.
Girl, let’s talk about these gifts God has given us.
Sometimes our problem isn’t that we don’t have any.
It’s that we chose not to acknowledge them.
My gut check in this area came from my principal.
Let’s interrupt this moment for a brief public service announcement.
(Inserts claps between every word to further my point.)
GET. YOU. A. BLACK. WOMAN. BOSS.
(Or a mentor, cause I know everybody aint able–through no fault of your own)
There is power in coaching and mentorship. I have learned more under my boss this year both personally and professionally probably than any other manager I have ever had. In part because she understands me as a black woman and can relate in ways that are unimaginable.
While we’re on the subject get you a boss (or mentor) you can:
- Pray with
- Cry with
- Get refined by and grow from
- Talk about sorrel and bust a slow whine with (okay, maybe just me because my principal and I are islanders)
Please believe me when I say it matters.
Okay, back to our regularly scheduled program:
Your gifts.
My principal was giving me feedback on a professional development session she had watched me run and noticed that I had not named the understanding I wanted my teachers to walk away with. I was really clear on the big idea, and I had just assumed that everyone else was too.
She saw something I didn’t and she called me out about it later when we were together. “Nicole, I have never met someone who gets more excited about exciting children about reading and teaching through texts. You have an eye for this and sometimes you think naming what people need is offensive and it’s not.” But what she said next has stuck with me for months.
Failing to acknowledge your gift in this work is hurting your people.
Wait, what?
I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone!
But I was.
I was inadvertently trying to play small when the people around me needed me to be my best, most vocal, thought provoking, key take-aways naming self.
And you know already know what I’m going to say next.
But Imma say it anyway, doe.
You are hurting people because you fail to acknowledge your gifts.
I know you aren’t doing it intentionally.
I know you want to give people the space to grow and figure things out.
I know you don’t want to seem arrogant or like a know-it-all.
I know how they already look at you, black woman, when you assert yourself.
I also know none of that matters.
Share the knowledge you have so your people get smarter and better faster.
Do what you’ve been put here to do, regardless of people’s judgements.
Because that’s why you’re here, sis.
Now, let’s go do this work.
There’s magic in our musings,
Nicole