Last week I decided to take an impromptu trip to the west coast.

We don’t have time for the why in this post (you can read it here if you’d like). But since coming back I’ve had both men and women ask me about my solo travel adventure and tell me that they’d always want to do something like it. While I am no expert in solo travel, I do think my reflections could be helpful for someone else thinking about heading somewhere on their own and by themselves.

So, here’s what I learned from traveling solo:

1. If the vibe doesn’t feel right, leave.

Story time!

When I landed in LA and got into my Uber, I was feeling pretty confident….until we got to the neighborhood my airbnb was in. As my driver let me out and said, “good luck” (Y’all.) I had this moment of  “What in the hell did I just do?!”. Now, I’ve always worked in neighborhoods that might make people a little “nervous” and I’ve lived in major cities all over. But this neighborhood didn’t make me feel good. Point blank. There was something in my spirit that didn’t sit well and I think if I would have been with someone else, I would have been able to shrug it off and keep it moving.

But I wasn’t.

After a self-pep talk (“Nik, don’t be no punk! You didn’t come this far to be scary!) my favorite bookstore, and my favorite Indian restaurant–I felt better, but something still wasn’t right. I finally called my husband and told him that I didn’t like where I was staying.

His response?

“Well…then why don’t you leave?”

I’m no genius, but I was definitely smart enough to figure that one out on my own.

I stayed for a night and the host was extremely gracious, amended my reservation, and refunded my money. The next morning I checked into a really cute hotel in a neighborhood where I could skip around no matter the time of day. Well–maybe not skip, but y’all know. That change made all the difference in the rest of my trip.

All of that to say–if the hotel, airbnb, club, restaurant, whatever–doesn’t feel right, leave. You’re in these streets on your own and by yourself you have to feel good. So save a few extra coins and spring for a comfy hotel (someplace where everyone is traveling and there’s always assistance if you need it).

2. People will always speak…if you do.

The world is in a painfully sad state. But traveling solo restored my faith in humanity.

Everywhere I went I met awesome uber drivers, dining companions (regardless of the fact I was dining alone!) people waiting in lines, shopping in stores, and sitting next to me on planes.

I also noticed I was a lot more social when traveling alone–which I thought would be the opposite. People would ask what I was going to LA for and I’d tell them I wasn’t really sure, I just knew I wanted to go and I had the time to do it, so I did. That sparked all kinds of conversations.

From a woman using the same slimy catcalls men tried on her to a man who came to the states from El Salvador seeking political asylum 30 years ago, I had some of the best conversations of my life on this trip and often only saw the person I was talking to once. Next time you go somewhere new (whether by yourself or with someone else) I encourage you to just TALK TO SOMEBODY! Our phones, our friends, our emails get all of our attention and the world is filled with all these dope individuals just waiting to share their stories and the key that unlocks it all is just a simple, “hello”.

3. There’s no better time to get quiet and think.

I literally walked away from my everyday life to get quiet and this trip gave me more time for reflection than I even knew I needed.

I got real fione and took myself out to dinners to eat delicious food and read Harvard Business Review articles I kept saving, but didn’t actually open.

I climbed to one of the highest points in the city (my booty is still feeling it) to think about what I want and how that intersects with expanding my family. I started thinking about my next solo trip, the places I want to see with my husband, the work I want to do (and not do), and so much more.

I wrote and drank wine and thought through things that are not urgent, but were so important.

And the reality is what’s urgent often gets our attention…not what’s important.

I came back feeling fresh, clear, and renewed. My best friend told me that “living my best life looks good on [me]”. And I’d have to agree.

So just go.

So if you’ve got the time and money to travel solo–do it.

If you don’t–make it.

Travel is so important…but often doesn’t feel urgent.
Choose yourself.

Choose a city you’ve never visited or one that you love.

No money for a plane ticket?
Take a road trip.

Afraid to go too far?
Go somewhere where you know someone, but just do the trip on your own terms.

I can’t convince you to travel solo, I can just promise that it will be one of the best things you ever do.

There’s magic in our musings (and our solo adventures),
Nicole